Imagine you are hiking through a wooded area and come upon a clear blue lake. As you approach a stream near the lake to fill your canteen, you stop. You see a mountain lion approaching. You have seen the lion but he has not seen you. In fact, he appears fixed on something else. Ahead you see what he has spotted; a duck drinking at the stream. The lion inches forward only to cause a cracking noise and he stops again. The duck turns slightly. You know he has seen the lion but he freezes. You can only imagine what the duck is thinking so you continue to remain still to see and not be seen by the lion. The duck begins to slowly move away from the stream, knowing he can’t outrun the lion.

The lion then begins to move toward the duck but in a circular direction, without making a direct approach. You remain fixed on the events as they unfold. This goes on for over a half an hour. The lion does not attack but he does continue slowly to circle the duck. The duck is getting tired. He tries to move further away from the stream without causing an impending attack of the lion. Although the lion does not attack he has cut the duck off from a retreat into the forest. One can only imagine the fear the duck must feel. Finally without provocation the duck sits down. At this point he is exhausted and beaten. Now you notice the lion moves in closer and closer, closing the gap between the duck. Almost without effort the lion moves within a mere breath and grabs the duck by the neck. Suddenly the duck goes limp; he is done. The lion who was not particularly hungry felt the duck go limp and then he dropped him and ran off into the woods. The duck was exhausted but he was also playing Possum.

Are you choking your support? Are you the type of manager who micromanages everything? Are you looking constantly for the employee, a friend or maybe your spouse to make a mistake so you can pounce on them? Are you destroying the very people who support you? I see this occur in businesses, families, friendships everyday. From time to time we are all guilty of it. But some of us make it a pastime pointing out others faults and shortcomings. Why not try a different approach and see exactly what happens? Try empowering employees by determining your level of acceptable risk. Decide what your principles are, and what simply negotiable preferences are. Try telling a child yes more often than no and see just what happens. My experience is they will often ask permission more often because they don’t fear the answer. And when you have to say no, they are more likely to understand and feel comfortable asking permission in the future. The same result will occur with employees. Try telling employees yes more often as well and see their reaction. They may ask more often for permission to perform new tasks. And by all means telling a spouse yes more often will reap wonderful rewards. Often we think everything is a principle, when really most things are merely preferences. Begin treating things more as preferences and observe the staggering results.

More than a quarter century in the workforce has allowed me to observe many transactions between employees and employers. I have often seen managers, owners and administrators prepare to say no before they have even heard the question. I have seen top-notch employees destroyed by the culture created in organizations. These cultures are choking the life out of the employees, and the productivity in an organization. Create a winning culture in your organizations and your life by creating a win-win environment, never a win-lose. Invest in employees, friends and family if you expect them to invest in you. Trust before you can be trusted, understand before you can be understood, and appreciate to be appreciated. If you do these things you won’t Choke Your Support. You will create a culture, a personality and a work environment resulting in improved relationships, increased friends and a high performance organization.

Originally published on Ezine Articles.